


Leave me Breathless

by bimmykimmy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: College AU, Fluff, Inspired by Music, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-03-16
Packaged: 2018-01-13 14:26:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1229806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bimmykimmy/pseuds/bimmykimmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reiner is a busy college student who takes up the guitar. When his instructor encourages him to write his own songs, Reiner becomes stumped and lacks inspiration. Until one night he sees the most beautiful, elegant creature he's ever seen. and queue cheesy drabble<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's Like a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> college au prompt on tumblr

  
It wasn't as if he needed another hobby to busy up his schedule. What with exams, his thesis, and work; he barely had any time for just sitting and staring at the ceiling. But Reiner did want to learn guitar. It had always intrigued him, and it definitely would go well with dissolving that gangster rumor about him. He could show people a gentle side.  
He had had a go at it some time before, and much to his surprise, he excelled at it. It was one of his "natural talents" his mother had always bragged about. Not that it mattered much anyway. No matter how much she bragged in front of her friends, the encouragement and pride was never directed at him.

  
Reiner plucked the string delicately as he tuned the instrument. The notes were so pure and fragile; they seemed to positively float through the air. Reiner couldn't help but smile inwardly. He gently shifted his hand onto the neck and pressed the pads of his fingers down; strumming a few chords to warm up. 

  
"You're here already then, huh?"

 

The blonde looked up at his instructor who came into the room with a bag slung over his shoulder. He wasn't a very tall man, but he had a lot of presence. 

  
"Oh, ah yeah. Sorry, do you have a lesson now?" Reiner apologized; begining to stand and put his guitar back in it's case. His instructor lifted a hand, causing Reiner to pause.

  
"It's fine." He said in his flat tone that was harsh to Reiner's ears now that he had grown accustomed to such sweet melodies and sounds. Reiner sat back down and brought his leg up to rest on his knee. He adjusted his guitar and strummed it again.

  
After a short pause, his instructor spoke again and sat next to Reiner. "You're very dedicated, you know that? Seems like you're the only student I have that gives a rat's ass about improving."

  
Reiner pressed his lips thin into a sort-of smile; kind of embarrassed by his instructor's rare praise. Levi wasn't necessarily the most stereotypical of music teachers, but he definitely knew what he was doing. Some might even call him a genius. "Anything to get my money's worth." Reiner joked. Levi simply gave him a quick glance before looking back at the posters on the wall.

  
"You should try writing your own music," he said after a beat, "You've got heart. And having to simply memorize and barf back out notes does't really do any good once you've hit a threshold."

  
"You really think I could do it?"

  
"Sure, why not? Some really awesome things can happen when you do."

  
Reiner let another small smile tug his lips as he let out a quick puff of air through his nose. Not quite a laugh, but not a scoff. It was really the best he could muster considering how dead he's felt lately.

  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
"Nope," the blonde said as he threw his pencil against his dorm wall. It fell with a soft patter against the wood floor. He had tried and tried and--God knows--tried! Nothing seemed to work. He had to fight the extreme urge to break his guitar in half. Instead, he decided to toss it onto his bed. "This is shit. Pure shit. What the heck was Levi even thinking? Writing my own music?!"

  
He got up, ignoring his quieter friend's (who had thought Reiner was talking to) response. Reiner grabbed his coat and shrugged it on just as he left the dorm. Despite his frustration, he did not let the door slam. He did not need Mikasa, the RA, to tear him a new one for causing such a ruckus during the night.

  
Reiner had a routine. Whenever he needed to clear his head, he would go for a walk in the quad. This late at night, it was bound to be empty. There he could sit on the cement steps near the science building's walkway and be alone. Nothing but the starry sky and the distant sounds of traffic to be his company. He sat down carefully and gave a deep sigh. 

  
 _'Playing music is one thing, but writing it is damn near impossible'_ he thought. He stretched out his legs against the steps and leaned back. His eyes scanned the night sky, picking out the planets and the constellations. It was so beautiful, so vast, one would think inspiration would trigger immediately by just gazing at it. But Reiner wasn't even filled with wonder, much less inspiration. Just big balls of gas exploding millions of miles away; yeah, try writing a song about that.

  
Reiner sighed once again; his breath escaping his lips as soft clouds against the cold, crisp air. The low sound of footsteps against the cement caught his attention. He pursed his lips and blinked slowly as he lowered his head. 

  
Now, saying he had been starstruck would be a bit corny and unwelcomed, but Reiner could have sworn all the air escaped his lungs in that single moment. 

  
Tall, God so very tall. And tanned skin! A mop of obsidian hair bouncing teasingly, screaming to be ruffled. Arms cradled a tower of books against his sweater-vested chest as the walking epitome of beauty made his way down the path towards Reiner. 

  
The blonde's heart jumped to his throat, and he couldn't help but sit up straighter. The boy was simply the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. And that was really saying something considering he owned like five mirrors. 

  
As the boy approached, Reiner felt a slight wave of panic overfill him. He bit his lip and looked at the ground; not wanting to make eye contact just yet because it would result in a longer, awkward, exchange that literally no one liked.

  
The darker haired angel passed him, and as he did, he glanced down at Reiner. When their eyes met, he gave him a small nod and a smile that was like a shot gun to Reiner's heart.

  
"Hello," the surprisingly timid voice simply melted into Reiner's ears.

  
"Sup," Reiner responded.

  
And just like that, the exchange was over. The boy walked past him, past the steps, and continued down the walkway. Reiner sat there, listening intently to the footsteps as they grew softer and softer until there was once again silence throughout the entire quad.

  
Reiner swallowed hard, suddenly realizing how dry his throat was. He placed his hands on either side of him and leaned forward. It was like he was relieved and stressed all at once. Was he sweating? His brained was running a mile a minute, yet felt vast and empty. What just happened? Who was that? Why was the author asking so many pointless questions?? 

  
Whoever that was, sparked something inside of him. Like a switch long since forgotten had been found and forced on. The machinery was rusty, but it was chugging along.

  
Wait, did that even make sense?

  
He couldn't even put it into words.

  
In fact, he didn't _have_ to put it into words. Not right away, at least.

  
Reiner jumped up and stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. He turned on his heel and started back towards his dorm. He hummed a small tune as he walked.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
No one could stop him now. Sure, it was 3:00 am on a school night, but that wasn't going to hold him back from his sudden burst of inspiration. Reiner frantically scribbled a few more words on the paper before picking his guitar back up and strumming a few more chords.

  
He hummed his lyrics along with the notes, and smiled a toothy grin. 

  
_Holding breath, taking the chances. Living life, saving the dances for our time._

  
"Reiner, please just go to bed! This is ridiculous..." Armin whined from the bunk. Reiner plucked the strings again and continued humming, much to his roommate's dismay.

  
_Starlight echoes and wind cries, but time never seemed to stand so till. You were there, but where was I? Gone, long gone._

  
"I have a organic chemistry midterm in the morning, you know!"

  
_Falling's never been so easy._

  
Reiner smirked as he strummed the last few chords. The words, albeit rough and a bit hastily put together, flowed through him like water. It came just so naturally. Another thing for his mom to brag about he supposed.

  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Despite his musical genius striking him so suddenly, Reiner rapidly found himself sizzling out. Like a match that flares up brilliantly, but fades away just as quickly. 

  
He wanted to see him again.

  
He _needed_ to.

  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Reiner parked himself in the exact spot he had been when it had happened. The quad was empty, as per usual during this time of night. This time, however, he came prepared. He wasn't going to let any time pass if he caught sight of his dark haired muse.

  
He gripped his guitar in his lap, and decided to pass time. He pressed his fingers delicately against the neck of the guitar and played his songs. He played and played and played, and before he knew it, his phone was buzzing in his back pocket.

  
He swiped it unlocked and held it to his ear with his shoulder. "Talk to me," he said as he continued to play.

  
"Are you _kidding_ me right now?!" The voice screamed from the phone.

  
"What?" Reiner said, not skipping a single note on his guitar.

  
"Don't give me 'what'! It's almost 2:30 in the morning! Get your ass back here."

  
"How did you know I wasn't in my dorm?"

  
"A little birdie told me."

  
Reiner rolled his eyes and laughed, "Armin means well, but God damn he's annoying." With that, Reiner hung up on Eren and continued to play. He just had to stall a bit longer.

Just a bit longer and he'd be fine. Just a bit more and maybe he could see him.

  
He didn't.

  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Reiner was a creature of habit. He had made a specific slot in his busy schedule to add his solo jam sessions in. Each and every day, for far longer than he expected, he would sit out in the quad and play. He would play his songs, songs he already knew, and songs he wrote right then and there as he thought of him.

  
He'd sing, he'd hum, he'd even stand up and play towards the girls that walked by and giggled. He became quite the spectacle; the talk of the campus. But none of that really mattered until he could see him again.

  
A pair of students walked by hand in hand. The taller one with freckles glanced towards Reiner and smiled sweetly before nudging the other with a two-toned hair cut. They both looked towards Reiner (who, despite being a bit embarrassed, continued to sing and play) and nodded in an unknown agreement. Reiner thought he saw the dude with the undercut mouth the words "he's good", but it was probably his imagination.

  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
He felt like a hopeless romantic. There was absolutely no good reason he should keep doing what he was doing, but he kept doing it nonetheless. Practically every day, Reiner would find the time to go find his spot and play. It was second nature to him now.

  
It was late, probably too late to be out again and playing, but Reiner needed his fill for the night before hitting the hay. He sat down and unsnapped the locks on his guitar case. He took out his instrument and placed it in his lap; gazing down at it with a content smile on his face. For a moment, he looked up at the sky. The night was clear, and the stars were shining brightly and their rays blended together to make it seem milky and smooth. Reiner sighed, _'Damn. I'm really in deep. This is pathetic. What am I even doing?'_ he thought to himself as he began to play.

  
As the night slowly progressed, Reiner felt a small bubble of sorrow fill the pit of his stomach. His fingers froze on the strings and he let his gaze fall to the cement steps. Maybe it was one of those fate things. Destined to never meet again.

He thought that, and yet...

  
"Um," a soft voice called from his left and startled him.

  
Reiner jumped just a bit and turned towards the voice, only to feel a tidal wave of emotions slam into him.

   
It was him. Jesus Christ in a cowboy suit. It was **him**.

  
The brunette stood behind the railing, leaning his awkwardly tall body against it's rusty structure. His dark hair was covered with a grey beanie and he wore a deep red sweater. His face was lit from the soft, orange streetlight overhead, and it glistened ever so sightly.

  
"Hello," he said in the same beautiful tone he had that fateful night before.

  
Reiner plucked a string, his eyes wide and his mouth probably agape. After a beat, "H-hey," he said as coolly as he could.

  
There was another pause, and one would probably say it was filled with a lot of awkward tension. But Reiner was simply too awestruck to care.

  
"I,ah, I was listening to your um, your thing."

 

"Yeah?" Reiner said with a smirk; snapping back to his default personality (surprisingly). "How do you like my thing?"

  
"No, sorry! I mean, sorry. Wow, that was dumb," the brunette gave an embarrassed laugh as he squeezed his hands tightly on the metal railing. "It's just, um, you're out here a lot. And, well, my dorm is just across the quad and I keep my window open at night so I um, I, you know, I hear you."

  
_'Was this real life?! How? Who? WHAT?'_

  
"Really? Sorry man, do I bother you?"

  
"N-no! Not at all! I mean, I really like you. IT! It! I like it,"

  
Reiner tilted an eyebrow and strummed a chord; which was probably a dick move, but he couldn't help it. The brunette turned red again.

  
"I _MEAN_ ," he practically yelled. His voice cracked a bit and he cleared his throat, "Your voice. It's really...it's great. I really like listening to you. You've got such a clear voice; has a lot of character to it. Kinda like a Disney prince. NO! Oh my God no, not that you're a pr--I...okay."

  
Reiner didn't know whether he was going to cry or vomit or both. But something was going to happen, and he wasn't entirely sure if he was _prepared_.

  
"Thanks." His voice went a bit deeper than he meant it to; a small quirk of his when he was embarrassed or shy.

His muse, his source of inspiration, was before him. Complimenting his voice--a bit awkwardly and clumsily--but complimenting nonetheless! Renier was positive a feather could have knocked him on his ass at that very moment.

  
The boy let his kung fu grip loose and he walked around the stairs to stand at the base. He looked up at Reiner and smiled. It was lopsided and kind of goofy and... entirely perfect.

  
"I'm Bertoldt," and as if it was even possible, his smile brightened even more.

  
"R-Reiner," the blonde responded. "What are you doing out here so late?"

  
"I could ask you the same thing you know."

  
"I'm creating ambiance, obviously!"

  
Bertoldt laughed and kicked his heel against the cement for a moment before asking, "May I sit with you?"

  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Reiner had lost track of time; as if it even mattered. He sat there with Bertoldt at his side. He played and hummed and eventually got the guts to sing his lyrics in front of the very person his songs were about. Thank God they were vague enough to not really make any connection.

  
He finished another song and strummed the final chord. Before the notes' dimming sounds could even disappear into the night air, Bertoldt turned to Reiner and said "Those are your songs right? I've never heard them anywhere before."

  
"Oh, ah, yeah. I wrote them."

  
"That's amazing!" Bertoldt beamed, eyes practically sparkling. "The words are so artsy and they match so perfectly with the notes, it's crazy. I..." He cut himself off suddenly.

  
Reiner glanced at him, "Hm? What is it?"

  
Bertoldt looked away towards the center of the quad. The grass looked dewy and soft against the dim lights bordering the lawn.

  
"U-um, I was just gonna say, I think the person who those songs are about is awfully lucky. To have such a talented person sing about them like that..."

  
"You," Reiner paused and let his eyes fall to the guitar that now laid flat in his lap, "You really think so?"

  
"Definitely."

Reiner Braun was not blushing. Nope, shut up. He wasn't.

  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Reiner practically kicked down the door to the music shop, startling Levi who choked on his tea.

  
"I need to learn how to serenade!" the blonde slapped money down on the table in front of his instructor.

"Why?"

"Something really awesome happened."

Levi's narrowed eyes glared at the money and looked up at Reiner. There was a moment of silence before he sighed and placed his mug down softly. Crossing his arms, Levi leaned back in his seat, "Fine, but I swear to God if you storm in here like that again, the guitar is going straight up your _ass_."

 


	2. Story of my Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music and muses aside, Reiner has fallen hard. But the feelings may not be mutual? Or they are? Or not? OR??? Nothing's ever easy, is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave up writing my own lyrics

 

_“If music be the food of love, play on,_   
_Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,_   
_The appetite may sicken, and so die.”_

\--William Shakespeare

 

 

"Oh, look, it's snowing. The weather decided to do something new."

The sarcasm that coated Reiner's words was so palpable that even he couldn't help but squirm. He was sitting at his desk idly scrolling through his class's syllabus when he had glanced out the window. Thick white flakes fell lazily to the ground, coating it in a sugary blanket that otherwise would look beautiful, if not for the fact that there had already been 5 inches of the stuff. Winter had been relentless, and it wasn't going to let up anytime soon; so it would seem.

"You're just grumpy cos you haven't been able to get anywhere with turtle." Reiner shot Eren, who called out from Armin's bed, a dirty look. Of course he knew about Bertoldt, Armin probably told him. And when did Eren ever not stick his nose in others' business?

Eren sat with text books splayed around him, all open to rather important looking pages. Of course, he hadn't actually read a single word on these said pages, but it was the thought that counted. Instead, he promptly found distraction in the blonde napping next to him. His fingers brushed through Armin's messy locks as he eyed him thoughtfully.

"Shut up, you know nothing Jon Snow."

Eren snorted at Reiner's half-hearted counterargument and shrugged, easily switching his attention back to his fingers in Armin's hair. Reiner thought the scene looked peaceful, nice. Like they were painted there, frozen in a setting that was created just for them. It made him sort of jealous.

He turned his eyes back to his laptop, but not before shooting a quick glance at his guitar case leaned carefully against his bed frame.  Studying for finals had become another one of Reiner's routines, steadily replacing his other routine of awkward attempts at progressing his...relationship? No, courtship? Whatever it was, there _were_ awkward attempts and, of course, they were _failures_.

To say that Reiner had fallen head over heels would be putting it lightly. Bertoldt Fubar, practically perfect in every way, was easily promoted from musical muse to idol of affection in less than three months. The night Reiner met him officially, they ended up sitting in the quad for hours. Talking about absolutely nothing, and it felt completely natural despite being practically strangers.

When Bertoldt had glanced his way, flashed a soft smile that barely touched his eyes, voiced his opinion about his songs, Reiner knew he was in much too deep. The very next day he foolishly paid for extra guitar lessons from Levi, but a fat lot of good that had been. Bertoldt was a biochem major just like Armin, and that meant insanely difficult classes on top of close to illegal amounts of mandatory lab hours. All of that added up to: zero free time. Regardless, Bertoldt was nice enough to give Reiner his number, quietly mentioning to text him sometime if he wanted to hang. Reiner had texted him before the week was out.

Turned out they had _less_ than little in common, but they filled each other out in an odd complimentary way. At length, they became friends. It started out with meeting at equidistant places around campus--the quad, the south food hall, the Survey building lobby--and eventually they grew comfortable enough to meet at each other's dorms. This eventually grew into visits filled with mindless chatter, sarcastic jabs, and soft musical interludes. Reiner thought he noticed a strange hint of admiration behind Bertoldt's eyes as he watched him play, but he soon deduced that it was simply exhaustion. Bertoldt promptly fell asleep during one of Reiner's songs, and once Reiner fell asleep on Bertl's floor watching him play old school 007 games. Seems they both easily became comfortable enough with falling asleep in front of each other. It had been a nice progression; one Reiner thought was going entirely in his favor. However, despite this quick transition from strangers to pals, any romantics in the matter were at a complete standstill.

Of course, Reiner had never considered Bertoldt might not actually _be_ gay...which, you know, would be a pretty considerable obstacle.

Either way, Reiner _had_ made his advances. He gave subtle clues: held eye contact for a bit longer than normal; chanced small touches on Bertholdt's shoulder, then forearm, then hand; even went so far as to not-so-subtly describe him in a song. All were shots in the dark, and none of them hit. However, they weren't blatantly rejected either. 'Course, sometimes when things got a bit intimate, a feeling of "are we really just friends?"echoing in both their minds, Reiner was blasted in the face with a nonverbal "no homo." Their short get togethers would end prematurely with Bertoldt giving him that perfect, lopsided grin, and a quick goodbye.

Now, Reiner sat in his room, close to hopelessness as he clicked into his class's online portal. He leaned back in his chair to stretch his back, it cracked and popped from the strain, and he let out a groan.

"Once finals are over, we all need to do something fun," Eren spoke as Armin sat up, rubbing a palm to his sleepy eyes. Reiner spun around with enthusiasm at the suggestion. "Mikasa is having a party right before everyone leaves, so," Eren continued but let his sentence die out. He always did that when he brought up his stepsister; a bit of a bad habit.

"It's a fundraiser for the soccer team, right?" Armin chimed in, looking completely refreshed from his power nap. He grabbed a tie from a pile on the floor next to his bed and sloppily pulled his hair back, much to Eren's dismay. "Reiner, you should play there! A lot of people miss hearing your music in the quad now that it's too cold to be outside for more than five minutes." The blonde leaned back on his bed, pressing his back against the wall. Eren scooted up next to him, trying to be discreet about their shoulders touching but not doing a very good job. How Armin could handle having a human sized lap dog day in and day out was _beyond_ Reiner, but seeing the two being so chummy tugged at a heartstring Reiner knew he had--but had been denying it for months.

"Mikasa did mention something about needing music," Eren added after a moment.

Reiner eyed his guitar once again and sniffed nonchalantly, "Yeah, I suppose I could do that," was his decision.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

The music store was unusually busy when Reiner got there for his lesson. He stomped his boots on the dirty rug as he let the door shut behind him, it jingled the bells above it.

As the rush of cold air got replaced with warm heat, Reiner gave the store a once over. A couple near the old records disgustingly flirted with each other as they reminisced about musical periods during which they weren't even alive. A mother waited patiently near the front register as her toddler tugged at her pant leg, mumbling something about the bathroom. In the corner, a suspicious looking hipster shifted the his weight from one foot to the other, eyeing the guitars on display. Reiner walked passed these jumbles of customers and made towards the back room like he owned the place. He didn't, obviously, but no one was going to stop him. Not when he was twice their size and looked like he could strangle a bull. He was used to people associating him with a thuggish attitude; made for less small talk. However, when a rather foreboding looking man behind the register questioned where he was going, Reiner tried his best not to flinch.

"You've got quite the crowd outside," Reiner said as he spotted Levi lounging in a folding chair with his feet up on an amp. Levi, his usual scowl plastered to his face, simply shrugged and made an indifferent noise. As mentioned before, Levi wasn't exactly the most stereotypical of guitar instructors, and obviously he wasn't a very diligent store owner either. With narrowed eyes, which looked heavily sleep deprived, Levi stretched his arms over his head before plopping them right back down folded across his chest. After a beat, Reiner asked, "You're...not gonna help any of them?"

"I've got Erwin out there," Levi said it as if it was the only information Reiner needed. So, Reiner took it for what it was and nodded. He took out his guitar and pulled up a chair opposite of his instructor. Without a word, he began tuning it; mindlessly humming the notes to help him get the strings tight enough. The notes were crisp in the air, refreshing. Due to finals (and other reasons that shall not be mentioned at this time, or, like ever) it had been at least a week since Reiner last played, and picking up his guitar gave him an overwhelming sense of relief. Bundled along with that relief, however, was undoubtedly a smidgen of frustration.

Bertoldt and he had gotten pretty close over the past few months, and Reiner was definitely still enraptured by him...so why hadn't anything happened yet?

It wasn't that Reiner was expecting anything...well, okay, maybe he had. A bit. Okay, a lot. But could you blame the guy? Bertoldt could literally be described as tall, dark, and handsome, and he was a sweetheart too! Always polite, and caring; never once complaining at how much shit Reiner gave him about his awkward personality. He did say he was jealous of the person Reiner's songs were about, and the songs were about him sooo...Reiner just assumed that the the only logical next step was to smooch each other into oblivion; but, as time went on, it grew apparent that that was not the case. This, however, did not stop his crush from growing to an almost unimaginable size. Reiner couldn't get enough of Bertoldt and his quirks. The way he chewed his bottom lip when he focused on homework, his small stutter he got when people actually paid attention to him when he spoke, his habit of picking all the pepperoni's off his pizza before eating the rest, the way he--

"I'm cancelling the rest of your lessons." Levi's icy tone broke Reiner's stream of consciousness and brought him to a crushing reality check. He blinked once, then twice, and on the third blink, Levi was already getting ready to kick him.

"What? Why?" Reiner eventually said. He knew his voice sounded whiny, but that didn't even stop him from adding a lower lip pout. Levi made a disgusted expression at that, and averted his gaze.

"Because," he said with an ever-so-slight quiver in his voice that made Reiner believe his pout might have actually done some damage, "you've gone through all the lesson plans twice already, and I cannot stand looking at your sorry, kicked puppy face anymore."

"But I still have so much to learn..." he bellyached.

"That's bullshit, and you know it. You've been writing your own songs for months now. You're far beyond my own skills, and I refuse to feed your dreams of grandeur any longer."

"What are you talking about?" Reiner knew exactly what he was talking about, but didn't have the guts to admit it out loud. Levi knew that _he_ knew exactly what he was talking about and didn't have the guts to say out loud, so he simply gave him a dirty look. Reiner was selfishly using these lessons as an excuse for his lack of romantic life. He subconsciously blamed Levi's teaching being inadequate, and that was why Bertoldt was immune to his music. Reiner lifted his hands up defensively, nonverbally agreeing to shut up.

Levi sighed, closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Three months ago you stormed in here and asked me to 'teach you to serenade' because 'something amazing happened,'" he paused for a moment to reopen his eyes and give Reiner another incredulous look, "but ever since then, you've been sighing and looking out windows and I swear to God if you weren't crying the other day--"

"He went out to dinner with Annie! Annie! Of all people! And I _wasn't_ crying."

"You might as well have been," despite Reiner's interruption--to which Levi pointedly raised his index finger--he didn't miss a beat. "Reiner, listen. You're obviously motivated to learn, I get that, and I appreciate your efforts or whatever, but moping around dwelling on what could be is not going to get you anywhere with this guy. If you're getting mixed signals and don't bother to talk to him about it, you'll just end up chasing him for another three years." He spoke with an odd sense of familiarity, as if he had experience in the situation. And that 'another' in there sounded a bit out of place, but Reiner chose not to comment on it. Instead, he simply gaped at his instructor, eyes blinking at his extended finger. Levi made a rather excellent point. Sure, Reiner could argue that he'd made a valiant effort. What with his subtle hints and advances, one could say he'd attempted everything short of jumping the guy. But had he really ever, you know, tried just _talking_ to Bertoldt? Now that he thought about it...well, damn. He _hadn't_.

"So," Levi continued, "I am cancelling your lessons until you figure your shit out."

Just then, Erwin walked into the room, sighed heavily, and grabbed a few boxes for a customer. He shot Levi an irritated glare but said nothing as he left just as quickly. Reiner watched as Levi's expression softened; his eyes pinned to Erwin as he went back into the hustle and bustle in the front.

"Aren't you technically crossing the boundaries of professionalism here?" Reiner commented with a grin that promptly got him a foot to the side. " _Me!_ I'm talking about me," he lied, coughing and adjusting his guitar in his lap. He strummed a few chords before looking back at his instructor.  After a moment he added, "I'm playing at a fundraiser on campus this friday. You should come. See what your star pupil has to offer."

Levi hummed a response as he grabbed a folder filled with sheet music. He chose one without even reading it, placed it on a stand, and then shoved that stand in front of Reiner. "Seems like a perfect opportunity. Play."

There was an irrefutable suspicion that two entirely different conversations had just taken place, but Reiner knew better than to press any further questions.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

In one last ditch attempt at studying for finals, Reiner and Bertoldt locked themselves in Bertoldt's room. Thomas, Bertl's roommate, had complained about being kicked out, but he was a zoology major and his final was going to consist of ziplining somewhere in Fiji over winter break, so neither of them let him pout for very long. Just as Bertoldt shooed him out of the room, he gave Reiner a quick smirk with an eyebrow raised. Reiner felt his stomach sink. 'If only you knew, dude. If only you knew.'

Bertoldt turned the latch on the door and let his hand linger there for a moment. He kept his back towards Reiner, who now thoroughly occupied all the space on Bertl's bed. Reiner saw his tense posture; shoulders hitched and back straighter than usual.

"Your last final is on Friday, tomorrow I mean, right?" Reiner said at length. Bertoldt startled, turning on his heel to look at him.

"Uh, yeah. R-right. That's right." He answered with a curious hesitance. There was another pause that hung over them like a fog. Awkward silence. Well, _that_ was new!

Psst, no, it wasn't. But Reiner wasn't an idiot (most of the time).

 

"You alright?" he asked while opening his monstrous philosophy textbook. Bertoldt scratched his cheek idly, his gaze falling to the carpet on the floor before sighing. He brought himself over to the bed and flopped down on it. Reiner pulled his book away just before the theatrical impact.

With his face smothered in the comforter and his arms laying limp at his sides, Bertoldt made an noise that was somewhere between a groan and a scream. Reiner let out a barking laugh, falling back and practically hitting his head against the wall.

"I agree with that sentiment," he commented through his laughter.

"I've about had it," Bertoldt announced into the mattress, and Reiner liked the way his voice sounded against it. He let his eyes grope Bertoldt's gangling body up and down, but mostly down, before focusing his attention once again. "If I have to look at one more compound, I'm going to explode." Bertoldt continued, completely oblivious to the fact that he had just been thoroughly eye fucked. He lifted his head, propped himself on his elbows with his chin in his hands, and looked towards Reiner. The blonde felt his heart skip a beat and he sat a little straighter, feeling as if he was just caught red handed.

Those hazel beauties positively gleamed as they stared, unspoken words behind them that Reiner would kill to hear. What he wouldn't give for this to turn into some cliché 80s movie--a soft rock ballad playing as they moved in slow motion, closer and closer until their lips finally touched.

"I miss hearing you," Bertoldt said and once again Reiner's stream of consciousness was violently cut off. But this time, he didn't mind as much because instead of Levi's dehumanizing glare, it was Bertoldt's glistening, perfect face. Even though this stupidly flawless human was causing an inner turmoil of emotions to rage on, Reiner let his shit-eating smirk grace his features. From Bertoldt's reaction, he knew Bertl realized he'd said something stupid again. The brunette sat up quickly and gracelessly hit his head against his clamp lamp attached to theheadboard. "I-I mean, _ow!_ Obviously, I meant your singing a-and music," he rubbed his mop of hair roughly.

"Obviously." Reiner smugly repeated.

"You haven't been playing a lot recently, have you?" he said, rubbing his head still, and then "I don't hear you outside my window anymore." 

Reiner's heart leapt to his throat, but he quickly forced it back down with a laugh that came out just a bit too nervously for his own liking. "It's like 15 degrees outside, too cold to play in the quad. Wait, you keep your window open still?" he glanced towards the wall before eyeing his friend skeptically.

"W-well, yeah, I um, I'm hot at night."

 _'You're hot all the time,'_ Reiner's brain added uselessly, and it was all he could do not to actually say it. Instead, he opted with a shrug and "Thomas must hate you."

Bertoldt chuckled and shook his head, "He's too nice to say anything. So, I kinda just leave it. Pretty crappy of me huh?"

"You're a cold hearted villain."

Bertoldt laughed again, reached over to grab a pillow, and chucked it Reiner. In retaliation, Reiner picked up the body pillow that was wedged between his back and the wall, and swung it over his head. It came down on Bertoldt with a loud smack that made them both fall over in laughter.

When their childish pillow-fight-turned-pillow war finally subsided, Reiner had thought of an answer, "I guess I just ran out of inspiration." He laid with his arms behind his head, staring up at the periodic table of elements poster tacked on the ceiling; fought the urge to tear it down. "The music was sucked out of me, life at college does that to people you know."

Bertoldt hummed, "I know," he agreed. Something about his tone gave Reiner the impression he had more to say, but no words followed.

 _'No, you don't.'_ Reiner's brain chimed in once again, and he gave his head a small shake before turning his attention back to his book. Just before he did, however, he looked over at Bertoldt, who had gone back to his earlier position; face flopped down into the bed. Reiner's mind flashed back to Eren's fingers comfortably fiddling with Armin's hair.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of their study date, as Reiner liked to call it to no one but himself, went by pretty uneventfully. Bertoldt moved to his desk and instantly got sucked into his reading while Reiner struggled to stay awake. When a knock on the door startled both of them back into this relm, Reiner glanced at his watch.

"Well shit on my face," he articulately observed, "it's one."

Bertoldt shot a terrified look at Reiner--which kinda sorta _maybe_ made Reiner shift his legs--and then at the door, "It's _what?!_ " His voiced strained as he quickly stood up; chair flying backwards and smacking into Thomas's dresser. The brunette scrambled to the door, unlocked it after a few slips of his fingers, and pulled it open. "Thomas..." he said exasperatedly in a tone that Reiner knew got paired up with a rather pitiful expression, though he couldn't see it. He leaned forward to peak at the two at the door, and the height difference was laughable. Despite towering over Thomas, Bertoldt was indisputably smaller.

"I'm s-so sorry," he stammered with his words; that cute (but not cute, no not cute. Reiner, he's stressing out, stop it) stutter surfacing "I meant-t to text you. I'm s--"

"There wasn't a sock on the door, so I thought it'd be okay to knock," Thomas smiled as he pushed past the apologizing mess that was Bertoldt.

"We were studying," Reiner voiced his rebuttal before his brain even processed it. He chanced a glance at Bertoldt, who didn't seem at all phased by Thomas' insinuation.

Thomas' smile just got bigger and he shrugged. "Don't you have you be up in like 5 hours?" He asked Bertl over his shoulder, wheeling the desk chair back to it's rightful place. The sound that came from the tall brunette was not fit for man nor beast, and Reiner took that as his queue to leave.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reiner's gloved hand held his guitar case as his other hunted through his back pocket for his cell phone. He bit his finger tip and pulled off his glove to slide his phone unlocked. After checking a few emails, Reiner pulled up his contacts and sent a text he'd been dying to send all morning.

**Sent 11:35 am**

_how'd it go?_

**Received 11:36 am**

_Ugh._

**Sent 11:36 am**

_hahaha sucks to suck_

**Received 11:40 am**

_I need pizza and copious amounts of alcohol..._

**Sent 11:40 am**

_i've got good news then! mikasa's fundraiser is tonite_

**Received 11:45 am**

_I meant right now._

 

Reiner laughed inwardly and stopped at the cross walk. The cars that zoomed by made it a clear indication that he shouldn't risk jay walking, even though he was late.

**Sent 11:46 am**

_cant help you there then i've got to help with set up. it starts at 7_

**Received 11:47 am**

_I've still got some lab hours to get in...I don't know if I can come._

He paused for a moment, glancing up at the traffic light which still had yet to change.

**Sent 11:50**

_it's cool. we should hang over winter break then or something!_

He paused once again, sighing despite himself, and typed up another text. When he pressed send, the cross walk signaled green.

**Sent 11:46 am**

_just so you know, im gonna be performing at 8:30_

The cold wind blew against him, and he quickly put his glove back on, shoulders shrugging into his scarf and stuffing his phone into his coat pocket. When he finally got to the dining hall where the fundraiser was going to held, he shrugged off his coat and said hi to Eren, Mikasa, and a few others whom he didn't recognize. He apologized for his tardiness, saying that his class got out late; which was a total lie but Eren seemed to buy it. He had actually been waiting outside of Bertoldt's exam room, but when the two hour mark hit, he realized that his waiting was definitely going to make him late. He didn't, and wasn't going to, tell Bertl that he waited though. The guy had enough to stress and sweat about.

The dining hall looked great. Mikasa had obviously over extended herself on this whole thing, but it seemed to pay off. There were streamers and banners and center pieces and other fancy decorations Reiner couldn't identify--the whole thing looked very official. He never realized just how big of a deal this fundraiser was going to be. He didn't even know how many people were actually going to be there when he had agreed on a whim. Suddenly, Reiner felt a surge of nervous bile bubble into his throat, and much to his disgust, swallowed it down.

"Oh! Hey, Reiner," Eren called as Reiner began putting his belongings on a nearby table. He turned to look just as Eren smacked a guy with a familiar face and haircut in the chest. Eren nodded towards Reiner and then gestured towards the frowning undercut. "This is my roommate, Jean. He's an asshole."

Reiner gave a polite nod and smiled at Jean, who in response gave him a not-as-polite "hey" before quickly turning his attention back to Eren. Reiner noted Jean's ear, the piercings in particular. How he had enough flesh on it to have that many holes was definitely a mystery thorough enough for Sherlock Holmes himself, but Reiner dismissed the thought as quickly as it came. Jean was a lanky looking guy, compared to Reiner that is, but he definitely had a strong presence. It reminded him a bit of Levi, but with much less pent up rage. Jean placed the box he'd been carrying down next to Reiner's things, and shoved his sleeves up his arms; first the right, then the left.

The guy was definitely one for dramatics.

 _'Oh,'_ Reiner regarded, _'he's got a lot of tattoos.'_

"First of all," Jean said while placing one hand on his hip and the other pointed in Eren's face--though he smiled, "Fuck you. And second of all," he turned his shoulders out and waved an arm at the entire dining hall, "This! I was the one who raised the funds _for_ this fundraiser, remember?"

"For the billionth time, _thank you_ , and I'll pay you back as soon as I get my tax refund in January."

All three boys turned to the voice which belonged to yet another slightly familiar face. The brunette looked very well put together and kind to boot, unlike Jean. He wore khaki's and a grey cardigan and his hair was neatly trimmed. His smile was warm, inviting, and ever so lopsided that it reminded Reiner of another.

When freckles gave Jean a quick kiss--which shut Jean up tout suite-- it all clicked in Reiner's mind. The couple from the quad. Hm, small world...err campus....

"Hi," the Abercrombie and Fitch model smiled and extended his hand which Reiner gripped thoughtlessly. "I'm Marco, the men's soccer team captain."

Talk about an odd pair.

Well, he was one to talk...

No seriously! He wasn't. They weren't a pair!

"Sup," Reiner responded before pulling away his hand and awkwardly crossing his arms against his chest. He was meeting way too many beautiful people lately, and it was starting to take it's toll. Soon after, however, he realized that it looked like he was flexing, so he immediately dropped his arms. He didn't need people thinking he had some sort of alpha complex on top of a thuggish appearance.

Marco pulled his own hand back, letting it fall to his side. His eyes scanned the room and another bright smile stretched across his face. "This is exciting!" They found their way back to Reiner. "I can't thank you enough for agreeing to play." His voice was so sincere, it positively cut into whatever shred of dignity Reiner had left. He was so genuine, and Reiner felt a song beginning to form in the depths of his brain.

 

No, no he mustn't think those thoughts. He was in a committed, one sided obsession, dammit!

 

"To be honest, and don't get mad when I say this, I hadn't really expected a crowd since it's the last day of the semester," Marco continued with a slightly embarrassed smile, "but as soon as Mikasa and I started telling people that you were performing, the RSVPs kept rollin' in! You're like a celebrity!"

"I'm really not," Reiner said, all his smug and cocky composure thrown completely out the window, "I'm not that good."

"Oh, baloney! Jean," Marco nudged his boyfriend who had been discreetly staring at his butt, "remember we saw him playing in the quad a few months ago?"

Jean made an indifferent noise that Reiner figured was a form of acknowledgment. Marco scoffed at his lack of response, but continued anyway. "He, 'Mr. I only listen to music that's as dark as my soul,' actually _said_ you were good! That in itself is a miracle."

Jean made an offended noise and shoved Marco, everyone laughing at his attempt at being angry (which was impossible when it came to Marco). Reiner felt a small smile tug at his lip; a petite twinge of pride restored. Just in time too, because this guy was going to turn him into a goopy pile of mush before the end of the conversation.

Awkward meetings and greetings aside, the set up was going fairly smooth. Reiner called over a few others to help set up the stage. He really didn't need much since his guitar was acoustic, but the sound system needed to be just perfect as far as he was concerned. Tables were set, food was catered, alcohol was purchased, and everything was coming together nicely. Mikasa began barking orders as time was starting to crunch though. Which was completely understandable considering Ymir had yet to show up with the desserts from her dad's bakery. Christa had called her multiple times, but all went to voicemail.

Reiner had lost track of time as he was pulled here and there by various, infuriatingly stressed females, to help with a plethora of tasks. Most involved heavy lifting or playing Mr. Fix-it, but he didn't complain. For once, he was distracted from his stressful college life as well as struggling, non-existent love life.

Speaking of which...

He shoved the spotlight and microphone wires into Eren's arms--which got him an annoyed "What the? Come on, really?!"--and made a beeline to his belongings which had been moved into a corner near the entrance. He fished through his peacoat's pockets and pulled out his keys and then his phone.

**Received 12:02 pm**

_I'll be there! :)_

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Having just enough time to get changed and make a few phone calls to Levi, who always ignored him, Reiner pushed open the doors to the dining hall. The fundraiser had only just officially started, and already the room was full of people. Music from the speakers played as background noise to all the bits and pieces of conversation. Reiner noticed the dessert table was in the process of being fully stocked, with a very bored Ymir standing next to it. Christa was at her side, obviously perturbed, but not saying anything as she watched Ymir place the cupcakes in a rather impressive display.

Reiner walked around and scoped the place. It was definitely a success, to put it lightly, and it made his head go fuzzy. Suddenly, his nerves were getting the best of him. After a few moments of staring off into space, questioning his reasoning behind agreeing to this, he felt a small tap on his arm. When he turned to it, Armin greeted him with a hard poke to the gut. "Are you nervous?" He asked with a knowing grin. Now, many people would assume based on his appearance, that Armin was a sweet potato that couldn't hurt a fly. When in reality--and Reiner found out the hard way during their first year-- he was a scheming toad that loved to exploit his ability to read people like books.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Reiner countered, but gave into Armin's unfaltering stare and sighed. "Yes, alright?! Goddamn. I feel like I'm gonna puke. I didn't know so many people were coming..."

"It's not like you haven't played in front of a crowd before!" Armin turned to stand in front of Reiner. He looked up at him with wide eyes and smiled.

"That was different."

"Would you knock it off?!" Armin protested with another jab at Reiner's stomach, which actually made Reiner release a _"oouf"_ in a puff of air. "You played in front of strangers out in the quad for weeks! This is going to be a piece of cake. You'll do fine!" And before Reiner could refuse his kind words, he noticed Armin's eyes glance over his shoulder. Armin sucked in his upper lip and smiled, and Reiner felt as if his stomach dropped to his butt.

"I better get out of puking range," the small blonde teased before placing his hands on Reiner's arms to turn him around to face the door.

It was next to impossible not to see Bertoldt in the thick of the crowd, being literally a head or more taller than everyone. He was paying his admission/donation with a shy smile, and Reiner damn near fainted. The soft lights of the room made his tanned skin a coffee colored silk, and his hair a deep mahogany. It was once riddled with cowlicks and fringe, but now, it was brushed out and laid nearly perfect on top his head. Reiner didn't even get a chance to make note of his outfit before those sparkling pearls caught his own, dull, much less impressive eyes. Bertoldt's nervous expression softened into a light smile as he instantly recognized his friend.

"Shoot me," Reiner deplored. The small, scheming blond, who simply chuckled in reply, gave him quick nudge towards his approaching muse.

Bertoldt gave an awkward wave, one that consisted of him flinging his hand up and then down in one swift motion. "This is quite the shin-dig," his voice barely carried over the music and conversation. It may or may not have taken every ounce of self control Reiner had in his being to stop himself from giving up on life itself and laying on the floor.

"I'm early," Bertoldt said through a lopsided grin. "Guess I had less lab hours than I thought."

"Glad you could make it!" Reiner said with mock enthusiasm. In all honesty, he wasn't glad. He was petrified. Sure, he'd sang and played for Bertoldt countless times before, but something about this night, this situation, made the butterflies in Reiner's stomach go absolutely apeshit. Regardless, he clamped a hand onto Bertl's shoulder and gave it a hearty squeeze.

_The show must go on._

"I tried to get Annie to come," Bertoldt mentioned as they made their way to the food. Reiner hummed in response, trying his hardest not to show his disinterest in the home wrecker. "But she said her boyfriend had some big plans or something--their anniversary, or I dunno..."

"Oh? That's too bad." Reiner might have perked up a bit; _might_ have! Shut up, stop smiling, he had every right to be happy upon hearing this news.

Despite the impressive variety of foods available, they decided on the safest choice; it covered all the food groups they’d agreed. The two shoveled down pizza like it was nobody's business and Reiner bought them a couple drinks to pass the hour. He found that even with just a little bit of alcohol in him, Bertoldt's usual tight lip loosened exponentially. He talked Reiner's ear off about next to nothing and it reminded Reiner of that first night they met. Bertoldt hadn't been drunk then, or so he hoped, so why had he been such a hermit until now? Well, he couldn't be bothered with those kinds of thoughts at the moment, because he'd rather watch this chatty, sweaty dork talk with a mouthful of pizza.

"Annie's always giving me crap about it," the conversation painfully took a round about from Bertoldt's lack of free time to Reiner's unspoken arch nemesis. He held back a groan and took a bite of his pizza to keep from making a sarcastic remark. "She keeps saying 'you're never gonna get a boyfriend if you spend your entire time with chemicals and lab equipment,'" he made his voice high pitched that was entirely inaccurate to Annie's usual monotone mumbles.

Wait a mintue...

Reiner practically choked on his pizza when the realization came crashing into his brain. Luckily, Bertoldt didn't seem to notice and continued speaking. "I keep telling her I'm working on it but she still thinks I'm gonna die alone with twelve cats." He laughed, took the last swig of his beer, then took out his phone from his pocket. Reiner felt himself gaping, and pride be damned, his jaw went slack.

"Thank you, God." His voice left his mouth before he could catch it, and Bertoldt looked up.

"Huh?" He asked.

"What?"

"Did you say som--"

"Nope."

"O-okay," he gave him a questioning look, a small hint of red on his cheekbones, and went back to his phone.

This was definitely a step forward, and Reiner couldn't help but smile.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting on a rickety stool, on a well lit stage, in front of what could be close to 200 people (even if that was an exaggeration) could make anyone, even someone as large as Reiner, feel indefinitely small. His voice didn't falter, however, as he introduced himself. Internally, all he wanted was to hide behind his guitar and scream, but instead his pride carried him forward. He scanned the room, calling out a few strangers, making jokes to lighten to otherwise awkward mood that came along with every solo performer on a stage. The lights made it difficult to actually see faces, but the small figure leaned against the wall was no doubt Levi. The taller, more noticeable figure next to him clued that Erwin tagged along too. Reiner smiled and strummed a chord, adjusted the height of the mic, and then strummed again.

He played covers, putting in a good mixture of upbeat and slow. Surprisingly (well, to him, but not to anyone who was there) he kept the attention of the crowd. People cheered and clapped and even shouted requests. He had been up there for much longer than originally schedule, but no one seemed to notice, and if they had, they didn't care. Reiner, much to his own surprise yet again, had incredible stage presence. It must have been his pretentious attitude, yeah, that was it. If is his mom could see him now, she’d have a whole heck of a lot more to brag about.

All was going swimmingly, until a voice that Reiner was like 99.999% sure was Armin's called out from somewhere in the crowd, "Sing to the turtle!"

And it was like a spell had been cast--a domino effect of cheers and hoots and hollering in agreement. Everyone who knew Bertoldt, knew his stupid nickname coined by Connie. Those who didn't, well, it didn't take a master of deduction to figure out what it all meant; they easily caught on and began voicing their assent as well. Reiner felt like his heart had punched his ribcage with the force of the hulk, and he swallowed heavily. He prayed no one noticed.

"Um, okay then," and before Reiner could call him up, he saw that Bertoldt was already being shoved through the crowd and promptly guided onto the stage from the side stairs.

They stood there for only a moment before Reiner’s mind went on autopilot. He hopped off his stool, and slid it over just a bit; motioning Bertoldt to come sit. The brunette obeyed and it did not take a genius to see that he was about to collapse. Reiner liked to think that it was because of him, but it was most likely the fact that he was on a stage in front of a huge crowd of his peers.

Reiner adjusted his guitar, licking his lips nervously. He grabbed the mic stand and adjusted it to his new height, and before he could get a word in, more obnoxious hollering came from the crowd. The coos and catcalling came rapid fire from Connie, quickly joined by his partner in crime Sasha. A mixture of calling Bertoldt ‘baby’ and ‘you go stud’ was easily muddled with a collection of other comments Reiner preferred not to have disclosed.

Before things could take a turn for the truly obscene, Reiner cleared his throat and picked at the strings to queue his song. He felt his entire body tense up when he realized what he had begun to play. He hadn’t meant to choose it, it just sort of happened. And the crowd must have instantly realized this as well because a quiet lull seeped through the room, like a foreboding fog that loomed with an air of “oooh, I see.”

Reiner swallowed hard again, and since it was too late to back out...the song had a very short intro...he began singing.

 

_What would I do without your smart mouth?_

_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_

_You’ve got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down_

_What’s going on in that beautiful mind_

_I’m your magical mystery ride_

_And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright_

His own rendition of the song was quicker than the original, but that did next to nothing when it came to the meaning of the lyrics. This was by far the most excrutiating experience Reiner had ever had, but, well shit. YOLO, I guess… Someone shoot this author.

_My head’s underwater but I’m breathing fine_

_You’re crazy, and I’m out of my mind._

__

Bertoldt sat on the stool with his hands clamped to the edges, knuckles pure white. He kept his head down with his eyes fixed on his shoes on the pegs of the stool. Reiner felt like a complete idiot. What on earth was he even doing? Of all the millions and millions of songs about friendship, or maybe peas, anything! Anything would have been better than this. Choosing this song was...well, it wasn’t as if he meant to. His fingers just sort of moved on their own. He pleaded the fifth!

The crowd was quiet, but it wasn’t a bad quiet. They all looked on the stage with wide eyes, smiles, and some even had blushes of their own. Levi’s narrowed eyes bore holes into Reiner as he continued to embarrass himself beyond all imagination, though his expression was blank. If he was honest, which he wouldn’t be, he was impressed. Reiner had come a long way. Levi briefly pulled his lips down into a “not bad” sort of emotion, and he smacked Erwin’s arm.

“We’re leaving,” he mumbled as he began walking. Erwin made no objection, but felt a little guilty for leaving early. Their departure went unnoticed.

Back to the train wreck on stage--which actually wasn’t a train wreck at all from an outside view. Reiner’s voice carried with a soft elegance that shocked everyone. And his guitar added just enough emphasis that coupled very well with his style. The blonde felt his confidence rise and he peered over at Bertoldt.

Their eyes met and the room seemed to vanish. The song was specifically chosen for this exact moment, and Reiner wasn’t afraid to admit this to himself. He was head over heels with his friend, and no amount of pride was going to stop him from making that known. Bottling up this new found sense of self commitment, Reiner turned himself towards Bertoldt and sang the final chorus of the song. He saw Bertoldt’s adams apple shift heavily in his throat as he swallowed down his nervousness. Bertl lifted his head, chewing on his lower lip, and gave Reiner a sheepish smile. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say it was a magical experience. But that shit was like Jesse McCartney level right there.

__

_‘Cause all of me loves all of you_

_Love your curves and all your edges_

_All your perfect imperfections_

_Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you_

_You’re my end and my beginning, even when I lose I’m winning_

__

_I give you all of me_

_And you give me all of you_

 

He finished the song and let the notes fade out into the air. They were quickly drowned out by the roar of applause and cheering. Reiner flattened his lips in an awkward attempt to keep from smiling.

Bertoldt stood from his seat and rubbed his head nervously. What he said then would echo in Reiner’s brain the rest of the night.

“Can I go now?”

"What?" dumbstruck and almost speechless.

"I want to leave."

Reiner blinked momentarily, processing the words and rebooting his mind back to its manufacture settings. He whipped out his default expression and smirked, clapping a hand onto Bertoldt’s shoulder.

“Sure, sure!” He screamed inside as the words passed his lips. “Catch you later.”

Bertoldt nodded and exited the stage as awkwardly as he had entered it.

Shit.

So much for that step forward. This was a fucking marathon backwards.

Had't they had, dunno, a moment? Something?! Bertoldt was acting as if that whole thing, that whole event that JUST took place was…

No. Nope, Reiner was not going to even think about that. His stomach bubbled with an evil concoction of emotions that would probably prove to be dangerous, but he couldn't be bothered. Not now.

As soon as his muse disappeared into the crowd, far beyond his reach--and God if felt like a weird, unwelcome goodbye--Reiner adjusted his guitar. He turned to the audience, “anyway,” he said as he began to start playing the notes to _Wonderwall_ which promptly got him a series of ‘boos’ and ‘ughs’. He laughed, “Just kidding,” and the whole audience chuckled.

And as if the spell had been broken, the room went back to how it had been not 5 minutes before. People hollered requests again and the entire rest of the performance went beautifully.

Reiner should’ve felt satisfied. His first ever actual, well sort of, concert was a success.

He felt everything but satisfied.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

By the time the fundraiser was coming to an end (aka the campus police came and said they had far extended the allowed time limit), Reiner was sloppily drunk. Eren had bought him shots, out of sympathy no doubt. Eren claimed they were “for a good cause!” But even a drunk Reiner knew that Bertoldt going AWOL was the reigning topic within the hushed whispers under the music.

He decided to call it a night when he overheard a conversation, which wasn’t that difficult considering it was Connie. Connie’s voice carried like a tornado siren. Seemed as the entire consensus was that Bertoldt left because he was embarrassed--well, yeah. No shit, Sherlock. Who wouldn't be embarrassed after your good friend just sang his heart out to you in front of a crowd of people? But it was more than that, and Reiner knew it. The fact that he knew it made him want to puke again, or that could have been the alcohol.

Reiner said his goodbyes, giving quick nods and sleepy smiles to the “thank you”s and “good job”s. When he thought he’d gotten everyone, he grabbed his stuff and left the dining hall. The music grew dull and hushed as he walked the hallway; met by a deafening silence once he stepped outside into the cold, brisk air. It was sobering, but he still felt like he was in a fuzzy cloud.

Before he even had time to start walking, his back pocket buzzed.

**Received 1:03 am**

_Come to my dorm._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is basically the One Direction song. Because the "story of Reiner's life" is literally nothing ever going as he wants it.
> 
> The song he sings is his own, more uptempo cover of "All of Me" by John Legend.
> 
> Reiner doesn't act like Reiner, Betoldt doesn't act like Bertoldt. Sorry, not sorry really but yeah. And I threw Thomas in there because, who the hell cares, he's Thomas!!!
> 
> p.s alpha complex is something my brother told me about recently, and I thought it was hilarious so i put it in there.

**Author's Note:**

> I laughed the entire time I wrote this. what even??


End file.
